Repetition in Competition

I came to a realization yesterday: While I have little to say about sports, I have lots to say about sport team names. It’s sad, but true. Yesterday’s entry was only a fraction of all of the crap I wanted to write; therefore, I have decided to dole out the remaining nonsense the rest of this week, which I dub, “Ryan Complains About Sports Names Week”. Yes, it is a sad week, but probably better than “Give Your Neighbor a Colonoscopy Week”, (which, incidentally, begins next Tuesday. Get your rubber gloves ready; it’s good, awkward fun for the whole family!)

Today, I will try to keep it relatively short, (and bitter): Repetition in the names of professional sports teams should not be permissible. Nature has blessed us with a plethora of creatures from which to choose our sports teams' names, and there are certainly more species of animals indigenous to the US than there are professional sports teams to name. So why is it that we have two “Cardinals” and two “Giants”? If you were to say to me, “Hey, let’s go see the Cardinals play the Giants!” I’d probably say, “Hey, could you be any more ambiguous, you big jerk?!” Of course, even after you clarified which two of the four you meant, I’m sure I’d still turn you down, (unless of course you meant the Arizona Cardinals versus the San Francisco Giants, because a lousy football team versus Barry Bonds’ baseball team would be pretty exciting).

My suggestion is that the New York Giants keep their name, while the San Francisco Giants should change their name to the San Fran Ogres. However, I think St. Louis and Arizona should BOTH change their names, because anyone who has seen a cardinal knows that those things are too darn cute to be taken seriously, (both the birds, and those guys in red dresses who hang out with the pope).

Cute	Adorable