To Biel or Not to Biel, That is the Question

W.O.R.D. fo' sho!

I recently noticed on cnn.com that Esquire magazine named Jessica Biel “The Sexiest Woman Alive.” While she is certainly smokin’ hot, I don’t know that I would have awarded her this honor. Angelina Jolie, (last year’s recipient), and many others for that matter, have Biel beat. If you ask most men how they feel in their hearts, (or in their pants), they’ll probably tell you the same.

Don’t get me wrong: Biel is gorgeous. I remember discovering her on the TV show 7th Heaven when I was 14 and then sitting through an entire episode of that crappy nothingness, merely because she was in it. When I later discovered the premise of the show was to promote Christian family values, I felt kinda bad that I spent the entire episode tuning out any message of morality while totally fixating on young Jessica. Luckily for me, the advent of the internet meant I never would have to watch the show again, (Goodbye, thinly veiled sermons. Hello, Jessica Biel websites).

Enough reminiscing about my teenage fantasy girls. Back to the subject at hand: Jessica Biel is gorgeous; I just don’t feel that she is “The Sexiest Woman Alive.” However, Jessica, if you’re reading this, don’t feel too upset, because I have decided to bestow upon you the honor of “Woman Of Ryan’s Dreams” for this week. While certainly less prestigious that “Sexiest Woman Alive”, being WORD of the week is certainly nothing to scoff at. So congrats Jessica, you’ve been demoted to a more fitting, (albeit fake) title, by someone who has no right or authority to do so. Let’s go out and celebrate!