Saturday Night Fever

Bust-A-Move or Busted Moves? Fat guy getting freaky...

Last night's bar hopping presented me with some of the craziest dancing I've seen in a while. A man dressed in a black suit, a black undershirt, and a black fedora, who looked like an Asian version of Michael Jackson, did his best to woo the ladies with his moves. When the song "Billy Jean" came on, I waited for him to break out the moonwalk, but unfortunately, that move did not seem to be apart of his repertoire. Instead, he just shimmied around and tried his best to imitate the King of Pop, but his performance was definitely subpar. I feel that, if you really wanna nail the MJ impersonation, you need to know the moonwalk. Or keep little boys in your bed. But hey, that's just me.

However, Asian MJ was totally upstaged by the gentleman above. Balding, overweight, and sweaty, he felt no qualms about opening his shirt, tying the bottom two corners together, and then throwing himself around the bar like he was on fire and looking for an extinguisher. But hey, he seemed like he was having a great time, as did his lady friend, and so I admire that. In fact, when I'm his age, I can see myself busting out ridiculous dance moves, although hopefully I'll have a little more hair, a little more fashion sense, and a little less beer belly. After all, dancing around in front of total strangers like a complete idiot should not be restricted to the youthful. In fact, if I don't make someone say "Tell Grandpa Ryan to stop grinding on those two women and take his pills!", then I won't have lived life to the fullest. Having fun is what life is all about, even if it means embarrassing the ones you love. Which I fully intend on doing. Sorry current and future family. It's inevitable.