Black Eyed Peas of Crap

Let's play find the lovely lady lumps

The Black Eyed Peas have delivered some pretty solid songs over the past few years. Catchy and original, their past several singles have been well received by both the public and by the critics, (having a platinum album and a Grammy to prove it). I too have enjoyed listening to their stuff, and I always make sure to play “Let’s Get It Started” whenever something needs to get started. However, it must be said: their latest song, "My Humps" has to be one of the worst things I've ever heard. The chorus is the following:

What you gon' do with all that junk?All that junk inside that trunk?I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,Get you love drunk off my hump.

What u gon' do with all that ass?All that ass inside them jeans? I'm a make, make, make, make you scream. Make u scream, make you scream.

Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

However, as goofy as those lyrics are, I can't help but listen to the whole song every time I hear it. It's like the audio version of a car crash. It's disturbing, and yet I can't help but take it all in.

The worst, (or is it best) parts have to be the euphemisms. While I’ve heard of the expression “junk in the trunk” before, (and make a point to use it at least once every time I go bar hopping), I don’t think I’ve ever heard “lovely lady lumps.” I’m pretty sure she’s talking about her chest, but I feel like her ass could also fall under the category of lovely lady lumps. Then again, maybe “my hump, my lovely lady lumps” is her way of letting the world know that she has both scoliosis and tumors. However, as neither of these afflictions would be considered lovely, I’m pretty confident she’s talking about something else. I think next time I see her, I’ll ask.