I'm a little teacup...

I periodically check CNN.com throughout the day to stay abreast of the latest headlines. I just checked the main page, when I noticed one of the following headlines: Lindsay Lohan injured in teacup accident

Normally, I steer clear of celebrity gossip. However, when I saw "teacup accident", I must admit, I was intrigued. Had the headline read "Lindsay Lohan injured in car accident", I would have passed it over, as this has become a common thing, (I suppose she is a terrible driver). But TEACUP accident? What could that even mean?

I had visions in my head of Lindsay riding the teacup ride in Disney World, when all of a sudden the machine malfunctions and the cups break free and collide with each other, sending out a wave of limbs and other body parts onto other small children waiting their turn in line. Sure, that might be morbid, but it definitely would have been newsworthy.

Alas, CNN has let me down again. Apparently, a combination of coming out of the shower, using too much lotion, and being clumsy led to the "teacup accident" which turns out to be Ms. Lohan fell down some stairs and landed on a broken teacup.

CNN, once again, I feel let down. First you waste my time with these pointless articles, and then you don't even include any hot pictures! If you're not going to satisfy my intellectual cravings, at least give me some eye candy.

Thanks.