You so nasty

In a weekend where the eating never ends, we had to get up today to go a large Sunday brunch. Today, the seating was not assigned, so as I made my way to through the buffet line, I thought that I would surely end up at the adult table. However, on my way to the seating area, my two little cousins called out my name and pointed to a seat in between them. Apparently, they had saved me a spot at the “cool kid” table. How could I say no to such an offer? Deciding to join the “cool kids”, (which I soon found out was not a universally recognized name, but rather a self-designated title), I sandwiched myself between Kinsey and Lillie.

As I was enjoying my food, I found myself casually itching my side, and in doing so, I accidently moved my shirt to the side, allowing Lillie to catch a glimpse of my boxers. Suddenly, she was telling everyone that she could see my boxers.

Lillie: “I can see Ryan’s boxers! He’s nasty!”
Kinsey: “He’s not nasty…”

Thanks Kinsey for sticking up for me.

Kinsey: “Just his personality is.”

Ouch.

Later, Kinsey started petting my shirt and telling me how soft it was, which sounds like a compliment until you realize that her real motive was that she had no napkin. However, little kid dirty hands is decidedly better than little kid dessert in the hair, (Lillie had decided that putting chocolate cake in my hair would be funny.) To be perfectly honest, I’m a messy enough eater as it is, and don’t really need the extra stains. Oh well, at least today I had an excuse.

Despite all the brunch table excitement, the highlight of the day had to be my mom, who was wearing a tight-fitting tank top that she recently bought. In big letters, the shirt read “Maraca Cantina”, which sounded innocent enough. However, on the way over to the restaurant, my sister pointed out to my mom than below the large text was written, “Shake em’ if you got em”. Oh mom, unknowingly parading around in a trashy, tight-fitting shirt to a family reunion. Maybe my day dream of the Jerry Springer show from yesterday wasn't as far off as I had initially thought…